Until Death
by DE92
Summary: "There is one other way you can break the sire bond completely." I look up next to the fire and freeze my tumbler of whiskey at my lips, watching the flames rise and fall against the wood, my back turned to my small audience behind me. "Well then come on Professor Creepy, share your latest theory." - Post 4x09. Damon. R
1. Chapter 1

**Untill Death**

**So this is just a little one shot I wrote after watching 4x09. It's my take on one of the ways they can continue with the whole 'sire bond' theory. Hope you like it! **

**It carries on from 4x09 so Damon is still at the Lake House with Jeremy and Professor Shane.**

* * *

"There is one other way you can break the sire bond completely." I look up next to the fire and freeze my tumbler of whiskey at my lips, watching the flames rise and fall against the wood, my back turned to my small audience behind me.

"Well then come on Professor Creepy, share your latest theory."

"You die."

I stay still for a moment before turning around, noticing the tense and nervous look on Jeremy's face as he stands behind Shane who is looking at me intently.

"Excuse me?" I question him.

"If you want Elena to be unsired from you completely, one hundred percent, then one of you needs to die."

"Brilliant plan Professor! Now why the hell would I want to kill myself?" I glare at him. What part of it does he not understand? I don't want Elena to be sired to me but that doesn't mean I don't _want_ Elena.

"It would only be temporary." Shane takes a step closer to me and I look at him sceptically. "What if I told you I know a way to bring people back from the dead?"

"I'd say you were crazy and have been hanging around with too many witches." I fire back instantly but the serious expression on his face makes me pause for thought. "How do I know you're not lying?"

"Because I have lost people who I love, who died way before their time and I want them back. Why do you think I want to find Silas? He is the key!"

"Of course he is," I roll my eyes "He is the key to everything, right? Finding Silas leads us to the cure? Elena will be human again and the bond will be broken. Somehow I think this death stuff is just a ploy for you to get rid of me."

"I'm not lying, Damon." He takes another step closer. "How do we even know the cure will be as simple as Elena taking it and becoming human again? We don't know for sure what it will do."

"He's right." Jeremy eventually finds his voice "I kill a dozen vampires to find a cure that my sister might not even want? Then what? She'll still be sired to you, Damon."

"Of course she wants the cure!" I frown at him confused.

"Are you sure about that?" Jeremy asks "Or is that just what everyone else wants for her? Have you even asked her?"

I stay silent because I've realised that no one has actually asked Elena's opinion on this.

Shane takes this moment to continue. "Her feelings for you are real, Damon, I can see that, Jeremy can see that, but you clearly aren't sure which is why you sent her away. What happens if she proves to you that the sire bond doesn't affect the way she feels about you? You believe her and you'll be together but a part of you will always be wondering just how real it really is, you'll always have that element of control over her when you should be in an equal relationship."

"Why do I feel like you _want_ me to do this?" I look at him suspiciously.

"What you do, Damon, doesn't really concern me." Shane shrugs and pours himself a glass of _my_ expensive bourbon "I'm more concerned in seeing how the sire bond theory plays out than your life." He tells me brutally.

"What about you, Gilbert?" I direct my question at Jeremy who is looking thoughtful.

"I have every reason to hate you, Damon. For one, you're a vampire, two, you're a dick, and three, you killed me. But Elena doesn't hate you, and I don't want her to be involved in some kind of one sided controlling relationship, even if you're not doing it on purpose." He looks down at his arm for a moment before looking back up at me. "I haven't wanted to kill you once in the last hour, that must mean something, right? Elena cares about you, and more than you probably know which is why I want to help you break this sire bond."

"By killing me?"

"If that's what it takes," Jeremy shrugs casually "But it's your call."

It is my call. I frown and turn back around to face the fire and think deep in thought.

How do I know that Elena's feelings are real if she is always going to be sired to me?

I want her to live freely and do as she pleases, with or without me. I just want Elena to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted. If she ends up going back to Stefan then so be it, that would be her _choice_.

That damn C word.

I think about the _death_ part and wonder if this is just a ploy the two of them have cooked up between them to get me out of the way and to add more of the map to Jeremy's arm.

It could be. Maybe.

They seem sincere but you never know.

"So what are the chances of you finding this Silas guy and how long will it take?" I ask seriously.

"We can find him from the map. And for how long? Honestly? It could take months, maybe even years, centuries if we're not lucky, but we will dig him up and you will come back to life, we'll make sure we hide your body somewhere safe to ensure that."

I ponder the thought of spending years looking for the cure with Elena sired to me, how painful that would be to watch her live without really living.

She deserves better than that. She deserves her free will.

I love her, she deserves to be happy, and she deserves to live her life, her undead life anyway, the way _she_ wants too.

I nod my head and place my glass down on the counter before picking up a piece of firewood that is placed next to the fire and twirl it around in my hands for a few moments.

I take a deep breath and turn around to face Jeremy who is watching me nervously.

"Ok." I take a step forward and hand him the stake. "Do it."

Elena's beautiful face is the last thing I picture as I feel the stake drive through my heart and I know I've done the right thing by her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Until Death**

******Ok, so I really wasn't going to continue this because my attention is mainly focused on Crying Lightning but because of the amazing response and everyone wanting to see Elena's POV I thought I would continue it, or at least write Elena's reaction to Damon's temporary or permanent death.**

* * *

I walk into The Grill with Bonnie, scanning the room for Caroline, who we are meeting to discuss the latest events that have happened in our chaotic crazy lives over the last 24 hours.

Ever since Damon told me to go home last night, I've felt at a loss. I miss him, so much, and I want to be with him but something inside of me is telling me not to leave Mystic Falls. That I need to be at home right now, and that it is the right thing to do, no matter how much I want to be back at my lake house with Damon and Jeremy right now.

We see Caroline sitting at a dark booth in the back and we quickly make our way over, sliding in the seats opposite her.

"Hey Care." I give her a sympathetic smile "How's Tyler doing?"

Caroline shrugs and stares down into her drink "As expected, I guess." She mumbles quietly and it's so not like her. We sit in silence for a few seconds before she perks up and looks across at us both with a smile. "Anyway, how was the trip?" she asks "Is Jeremy ok?"

Bonnie nods her head "He's handling everything better now, Shane really is helping."

"That's good," Caroline nods her head and looks over at me a little cautiously. "I didn't know you were going too…" she trails awkwardly and I frown.

"Why wouldn't I have been? He's my brother."

"I know but…"

"But you thought that Damon broke the sire bond, right?" I snap at her coldly and I watch as her shoulders deflate.

"Elena that's not what I-"

"No no," I cut her off "It's ok, I get it, you hate Damon and you're firmly on Team Stefan. There's nothing I can do to change your mind and convince you that my feelings for Damon are real so what is the point in even trying?"

"If it helps, Damon told her to leave. That's why we're back so soon." Bonnie interrupts and even though I want to argue with her and tell her that I have control over my actions and that I didn't just leave because Damon told me too, I left because it's the right thing and it will make him happy, but there is a pull inside of me that stops me from saying anything.

"He did?" Caroline looks surprised by then and she shifts on her chair a little awkwardly. "Have you seen Stefan yet?" she asks carefully.

I'm about to answer no but all for a sudden a strong pain pounds into my chest and I gasp struggling to breath.

"Elena?" Bonnie wraps her arms around me "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

I can't breathe.

"Elena?" Caroline crosses the booth and grabs a hold of my other arm and they pull me into the bathroom, locking the door securely behind them. "What's wrong with her?" her frantic voice asks.

"I don't know." I hear Bonnie reply but all I can focus on properly is trying to catch my breath and then everything goes black.

* * *

My eyes flutter open and I sit up confused, grasping onto the covers around me in panic.

"Elena! Elena, it's ok!" Caroline's soothing voice calms me down and I take a relaxed breath when I realize that I'm in her bedroom.

"What happened?" I ask confused and I look around to see a nervous and hesitant looking Stefan standing by the door, his eyes glued to the window, not looking at me.

"I don't know." Caroline answers sincerely "We were at The Grill then all of a sudden you started gasping for air and you couldn't breathe, and then you passed out, which is weird considering you're a vampire. I brought you back here and you've been asleep for the last two hours."

I feel different, I don't know why or how but I do. My head feels clear and my thoughts are less clouded and muddled.

"Where's Damon?" I ask confused and look around to see he's not around and that in turn sets a sickly feeling in my stomach.

Stefan scoffs and mutters something even my vampire hearing can't pick up and I look over at him with a frown. "Where is he, Stefan?"

He finally turns to look at me and I can see hurt and pain in his eyes and I suddenly feel _very_ guilty. "If anyone should know, Elena, it would be you right? I mean, now that you're sleeping with him!"

I freeze and my heart starts to pound and my hands sweat. How does he know about that? I glance at Caroline who is looking just as guilty as I feel right now.

"I'm sorry, Elena!" she immediately goes to defend herself. "Damon was taking advantage of you, and since he lied to us about breaking the bond I had to think of what else he could have lied about! I had to tell Stefan before it went too far!"

"What went too far?" I ask her in disbelief "He didn't take advantage of me, Caroline! Everything we did, was _my_ choice!" I argue before turning back to Stefan, my voice softening. "I'm sorry, but it's true."

"You're _sired_ to him, Elena!" Caroline looks at me in astonishment.

"That doesn't affect how I feel!" I'm sick of everyone questioning my feelings! I'm falling in love with Damon; the sire bond doesn't have anything to do with that!

"No but it does affect how you act! Are you seriously telling me that you would have slept with him if you were still human?"

"I don't know." I shrug defensively "Maybe."

Caroline shakes her head at me in disappointment and I watch as Stefan runs a hand through his hair and we sit in a tense awkward silence for a few moments before the door opens and a nervous looking Bonnie walks in through the door.

"Did you speak to Shane?" Caroline asks eagerly and Bonnie nods her head and glances at me with an expression on her face that makes me feel anxious. "Well? What did he say?"

I watch as she shuts the bedroom door behind her and looks over at Stefan before looking back at me. "He told me that Damon broke the sire bond." She begins and fiddles her hands.

A massive smile crosses my lips and I jump out of the bed. This is good, now I can convince him that my feelings are real and we can be together properly.

"Thank God!" Caroline exaggeratedly sighs before looking back over at me. "You're free of him, at last! I guess that explains why you passed out."

"Caroline stop," Stefan interrupts her and looks at me knowingly, his attention focused on me. "You still feel the same, don't you?" he asks with a broken hearted tone that makes me feel _awful_.

I nod my head slowly, tears springing in my eyes at the expression on his face and I watch as Caroline gawps at me in disbelief. She goes to say something else but Bonnie interrupts.

"All of you stop, please." She looks defeated and now I start to feel worried again, my happiness from learning that the bond is broken long gone.

"What's wrong, Bon? Is it Jeremy?" I ask uneasily and then all for a sudden Stefan takes a hurried step forward, his shoulders tense.

"Bonnie? How exactly did Damon break the sire bond?" his voice is edgy and anxious and I think my heart literally breaks when the next words leave her mouth.

"He died."

"No." I shake my head and take a step back "No, no no, no!"

"Elena," Bonnie steps towards me but I immediately hold out my arm.

"No stop it!" I can feel my eyes burning with tears "He's not dead, I just saw him yesterday, he's not dead! He _can't_ be dead!"

"I'm sorry," she looks at me with a face full of guilt.

"Wait, how did he die? He's a vampire, he can't just _die_!"

"Maybe now isn't the right time." Caroline speaks up but I ignore her.

"Tell me, Bonnie!" I shout and watch as she jumps at the roar of my voice but I don't care. None of this makes sense.

How can he just be _dead_?

"He was staked." She tells me quietly.

I literally gasp. "Jeremy?" and my world crumbles even more if that were possible when she nods her head.

This cannot be happening. This is _not_ happening!

"There's more to the story, Elena." She tells me with a calmer tone "Shane didn't want to go over the details through the phone, but he told me and he and Jeremy are on their way back to Mystic Falls and that they will tell us everything."

"What's there to tell?!" I snap at her furiously. "My brother, _brother_, killed the man I love! How can there be more too it?!"

Bonnie shakes her head and admits she doesn't know and before anyone can stop me I use my vampire speed to escape from the room.

I end up in his bedroom and it feels weird being in here without him. It doesn't feel real. He can't be dead, he just can't be.

I look over at his bed, thinking back to just a couple of days ago when we woke up _so_ happy, before we found out about any of this stupid sire bond stuff.

We were happy.

_Damon_ was happy.

And now he's dead.

Tears start to fall from my eyes as I walk over to his draws and pull out one of his t-shirts and slip it above my head before laying in his bed, wrapping my body into his silk sheets, his smell still lingering.

I let the tears fall as I lay there, memories and regrets floating around my head as I think about all the mistakes I have made with him, and what I would do to just turn back time and make things right. If I could go back, I would have stopped wasting times denying my feelings for him.

I would have told Matt to keep driving.

If I had, Jeremy would never have become a hunter and Damon would still be here and it's yet another realization that this is my entire fault.

I may as well have staked him myself.

* * *

I think it was hours later of laying in Damon's bed when Bonnie knocked on the door and informed me that Professor Shane and Jeremy were downstairs and needed to speak to me.

It could have been days, it could have even been weeks.

I reluctantly follow my best friend down the stairs and the second I enter the parlour Jeremy is in front of me spewing out apologies and it takes what little strength I have left to not hurt him.

He is still my brother.

I'm not really paying attention to anything around me, I'm just aware that Professor Shane, Jeremy, Bonnie, Caroline and Stefan are all present in the room and they are all talking about the hunters mark.

"Elena," Shane sits down directly in front of me, his eyes on mine. "There is something you need to know."

He then goes on to tell me that it was _Damon_ who asked Jeremy to stake him in order to break the sire bond because he wanted me to live freely without any of his influence and all of a sudden a surge of pure rage takes over me.

I stand up and throw one of Damon's expensive bottles of bourbon across the room and swing back to face Shane who is watching me calmly. "He did it for _me_?!" I shout at him in disbelief "To help me? How the hell is this helping me?! How could be so _stupid_ to think this is what I want!" I'm frantic now and I watch as Stefan and Caroline stand up, almost like they are preparing themselves to stop me from doing anything stupid.

"It could take years to find the cure, Elena. Damon didn't want your life to be damaged by this bond."

"Damaged?" I shake my head, tears burning in my eyes "All the sire bond has done is _help _me! It's broken right?" I ask him and he nods his head "Ok, then why the hell do I feel the exact same way as before! I _told_ him that the bond didn't affect my feelings, I told ALL of you and none of you believed me!"

I turn my attention onto Caroline and Stefan who are standing awkwardly by the fire. "And you two!" my voice is loud with rage. "Making it seem like he was taking advantage of me?! He wasn't! I told you, Caroline! I _told_ you how I felt about him and you still plotted behind my back!"

"Elena, this isn't her fault!" Stefan takes a step forward and I push him back with all my strength causing him to crash against the wall.

"You're his brother, Stefan! Does that not mean anything to you?!"

"You know that it does." He replies meekly while standing up.

"Elena," Jeremy speaks up for the first time since he apologized "You need to calm down and listen to Professor Shane, there's something else you need to know. Damon didn't just kill himself on a whim. There's more too it."

I freeze and turn around, looking at the two of them curiously.

"How can there be more too it?" I ask confused.

Professor Shane walks towards me and takes my hands in his, bringing them up between us "I can resurrect Damon." He tells me calmly and my dead heart starts to pound again.

"You can do _what_?"

* * *

**Hope you liked it! I'm still 50/50 about continuing, I think I might do but I hope this was enough to satisfy those of you who wanted to read Elena's reaction. Thanks again for the reviews, hope to read your thoughts on this one too! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Until Death**

**I just wanted to say a massive thank you for the response to this story! It has been amazing and totally unexpected and you've all inspired me to continue this into a story because of all your awesome reviews! So I hope you like it! **

* * *

My body feels stiff as I lie on something rough below me, my eyes flutter open and all I can see is darkness.

I groan in agony as a sharp pain stretches through my chest, almost like someone is staking me repeatedly and I gasp as I attempt to sit up but my body is frozen and I can't move.

Instead all I can feel is the repeated notion of something sharp and rough stabbing my heart. Over and over again and then I fall back into darkness.

My eyes open again and suddenly I'm laying somewhere more familiar. The pain is still aching in my heart but it's not as strong as before and I manage to sit myself up. I press my hands against the dusty wooden falls and look around these far too familiar surroundings.

It's the old Salvatore boarding house. The one I grew up in as a human.

Then suddenly everything hits me at once.

My parents.

Stefan.

Katherine.

Getting shot dead trying to save her.

Rose.

Alaric.

The sire bond.

Jeremy staking me.

Elena.

_Elena_.

I'm dead.

Like really dead.

I go to speak but I can't find my voice and my entire body feels _heavy_. I raise up my hand and look at it, noticing the human like skin and I wonder if maybe this is a memory I'm reliving.

But when I look around the empty house, I know that I'm really here, right now, in whatever undead reality I'm in and I wonder what the heck I'm supposed to do now.

Darkness hits me again and I don't even feel anything as my body crashes against the floor.

The next time I wake up I'm lying on the floor in The Mystic Grill. It's empty, just like my old house was, and when I pull myself to my feet the dull pain in my chest is barely there.

My legs feel stiff as I look around, wondering why I'm here and what the hell is going to happen to me next.

Before I let my thoughts travel to a certain brown eyed brunette a very recognizable voice interrupts me.

"You just gonna stand there all day or are you going to join me for a drink?"

I turn around to see Ric propped up against the bar smirking at me and I take a step forward, and then a step back, unsure if this is actually happening right now.

"Ric?"

"Who else?" he smirks at me "Then again, I could just be a possessed vampire hunter trapped in this body. Or I could be Klaus? What can I say? People _love_ this temple." he jokes and I immediately know it's him.

I approach him hesitantly, my legs feeling stiff like I can barely walk but eventually I get to him, even if he does look amused at how much I am struggling right now.

"So is this what death feels like? Me being a cripple?" I ask in disdain.

"It gets better." Ric shrugs casually and I take another look around the The Grill.

"What are we doing here, Ric?" I ask confused "Shouldn't we be in some kind of afterlife or something?"

"If we were human, maybe." He tells me simply "But we've died before, Damon, we only get one chance so now we are just kinda stuck here…watching everyone else live their lives." I watch as he walks over to one of the many tables and sighs sadly.

"This kid right here? His name is Scott Waterman, smartest kid in his class but he couldn't afford college so he is stuck waiting tables, probably for the rest of his life."

I frown confused and look at him like he is crazy. "What are you talking about, Ric? There's no one else here."

He turns his head to face me baffled and starts to walk back towards me. "Are you kidding? It's peak time, look around! The place is heaving! There's humans everywhere!"

"It's _empty_." I tell him like he's insane. "Are you sure you're the real Alaric?"

"You really can't see anyone?" he ignores my question and I shrug and hold my arms out.

"We're dead, Ric! There's no one else about!"

"Hmm." He mumbles to himself before finally approaching. "I know you missed me." He tells me with a smirk and I roll my eyes and turn my back to him. I wondered how long it would take.

"No one else in Mystic Falls can keep up with my drinking, I just needed a new drinking buddy and no one else matched up. It wasn't anything _personal_." I scoff and roll my eyes but deep down I know he knows.

He lets out that typical 'Ric' laugh and shakes his head, patting his hand on my back. "I missed you too, buddy." He tells me sincerely and we take a moment to stand in silence.

"Are you sure you can't see anyone here?" he asks again and I shake my head.

"No one."

"Well you're currently standing beside Matt Donovan who is wiping down a table too your left." He informs me and I glance at the table but it's empty. There's no one there.

"Is this normal? I mean, I have just died, right?"

"It's been two weeks, Damon." Alaric tells me cautiously and my frown only deepens. "I guess it's different for everyone, I mean I don't know, I haven't exactly made any friends around here, it's not like we made a club."

I laugh a little and shake my head and we fall into another comfortable silence and I just feel grateful to be in his company.

Of course, I won't tell _him_ that.

"Why'd you do it, Damon?" he asks seriously after a few more minutes. Or at least I think it was minutes, it could have been hours. I don't seem to have any concept of time anymore.

"Do what?" I decide to play dumb but he calls me out.

"You know what." He steps off the stool he was sitting on "Do you have any idea how hurt Elena is right now?"

I cringe and look down at my feet. I've been trying not to think about that. "It's for the best." I answer honestly. "I needed to break the sire bond, this was the only way. I needed to do right by Elena, I couldn't let her continue to be sired to me and none of her actions be her own. I've seen what it does to people, its driven people _crazy_, and I'm talking full on _mental, _Ric."

"Like that girl, Charlotte?" he asks me and I snap my head towards him surprised and he chuckles. "I've been around, Damon. I know what's been going on. And if it makes you feel better, Elena and Charlotte are completely different."

I shrug, and lean against the bar. "I _had_ to do it, Ric. For Elena, for Stefan, for everyone. It needed to be done. She may be hurt now, but she'll want to thank me in the long run when she realizes that everything that happened between us was caused by the bond. I don't want to be around for that, I don't want her to waste years on missing out on her real life just because I'm too selfish to let go."

"Stop pretending that you don't know her feelings are real, this isn't compulsion, you didn't force her into anything, you didn't _make_ her fall in love with you."

I scoff at his and shake my head. "Elena doesn't love me."

Alaric sighs and shakes his head. "Who are you kidding, Damon?"

"Why don't you back the hell off, Ric? You've been _dead_ for the last couple of months so you really don't know shit!" I snap at him defensively.

He holds his hands up in defense before speaking "I get why you did what you did, in fact, I kind of admire you for it. You sacrificed your life for Elena and I'm grateful to you for that, I really am. But don't think for one second that what you have done hasn't hurt people, because it has, especially Elena and especially Stefan. You've caused them pain, you've broke her heart, now it's time for you to fix it!"

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Just because we're dead, Damon, doesn't mean we are totally useless! Who do you know who can see and speak to ghosts?" he looks at me like I'm stupid.

"Jeremy."

"Jeremy!" he answers like I'm an idiot for not thinking of this sooner and it really pisses me off. Why does he think he is such an expert in all of this? He's not been dead for _that_ much longer than me! "Go find him, talk to him, and help him find the cure. Maybe ask him to pass on a message to Elena? I don't know, Damon! But do something useful with your time!"

I scoff and turn away. "And how the heck am I supposed to do that? I can't _see_ anyone! This place is empty to me!" I turn around and come to an immediate halt when I realize he's gone. "Ric?"

No answer.

Damn it!

What the heck am I supposed to do now?

* * *

I fall into more pits of darkness, sometimes I wake up at my old house and other times at The Grill, but no matter how hard I try I can't make myself wake up at the Gilbert's. I still can't see anyone, and I wonder if it's some kind of punishment from the universe for all the sins I've committed in my life. Who knows, but it sucks.

I don't even know how long it's been since I last saw Ric, but I haven't seen him since and it's starting to get pretty lonely around here.

This whole being dead thing really freaking sucks!

I wake up again lying on the hard floor of The Mystic Grill and let out an annoyed sigh when I look around to see the place is still completely empty. "Great." I mutter under my breath and drag myself to my feet.

At least the stabbing pains have stopped, now it just feels like there is a hole in my heart, but it doesn't hurt so that's a plus.

I walk over to the bar and take a seat, wondering how I can touch these objects, although I can't move them. Trust me, I've tried. I figured if I was dead I might as well have fun, as far as I know The Grill could be packed full of people and I thought if I started pushing a few tables and chairs about it could cause a little chaos, not that I'd even be able to see it, but hey. It didn't work anyway though, even though I can touch objects, I can't move them, they just stay firmly in there place.

I don't know how long I sit there for, I have no sense of time here. I start to think about Elena and what she could be doing right now. Would she be upset that I'm dead? Or relieved that I broke the sire bond and she can go back to Stefan.

It sucks to think about that, and I try not too. Ric told me that she's hurt, but that could just be because she feels guilty, I don't know, I'm not kidding myself into believing that she doesn't care about me, of course she does, we've been through too much together for her not too however the more _romantic_ feelings that have been about lately are what is questionable.

What happened to it's always going to be Stefan?

As much as I hate this being dead thing, I still believe that I did the right thing. I've lived long enough anyway, even if Professor Shane was lying about the whole resurrection solution. I can know that I lived my life, traveled the world, fell in love, even though it wasn't returned. I lived more than a lot of people have.

I freeze when I hear movement behind me and I jump to my find and my eyes widen when I see Jeremy Gilbert walk through the doors. He's talking to someone, I can't hear it from where I'm stood because apparently I've lost my Vamp benefits, but his lips are mouthing and he is motioning to a table at the back.

I start walking towards him, and I find my voice. "Gilbert!" He stops, turns to look at me and his eyes widen in shock. "What the hell is going on? Why are you the only person I can see?"

He looks at me before turning his head away again and I frown confused, what the hell is he doing. "Let's go sit over there," he says to whoever the hell is with him and walks away without even a second glance.

"Jeremy!" I call after him but then stop. What if it's Elena who is with him? I snap out of my thoughts and walk over to the table he has just sat down at. "I know you can see me, Gilbert! Stop being a pussy!"

He glances at me from the corner of his eye before turning his attention back on whoever he is sat with. "Hey April, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." He stands up and walks away and I guess I have to follow him.

We walk inside and I watch as he slams the door shut and locks it behind him. "Stop ignoring me! I know you can see me!"

"Damon?"

"Yeah!" I look at him as if he's stupid.

"Can you see me?"

"Well of course I can! Are you freaking stupid? I thought this whole Hunter's Edge thing you had going on was making you more useful but apparently not." I huff but he just continues to stare at me.

"Damon? Can you even hear me?"

"What?" I frown at him, "Of course I can." and then a thought crosses me. "Wait, can you hear me?"

He doesn't respond to my question and suddenly I realize we have a problem.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! As you can see, Damon's ghost is having a little more difficulties than normal! All will be explained in the next chapter! **

**Reviews are always appreciated :)**

**Until next time! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Until Death**

* * *

It's been an agonizing couple of weeks since Damon broke the sire bond; I've tried my best to stay strong so I can be useful in helping find Silas so we can bring him back. I don't even care about the cure, I just want Damon.

I've been a little on the anti-social side, the only time I've interacted with anyone is when we talk about digging up Silas and finishing Jeremy's hunters mark. Bonnie and Caroline have been trying to get me to open up but honestly I really don't want to talk to either of them. I spend my days at my house with Jeremy, Bonnie and Professor Shane, sometimes Stefan and Caroline join us, but Stefan especially has been keeping his distance from me and although part of me feels bad and guilty, because he has lost Damon too, I can't help but blame him.

He pressured Damon to break the bond, he forced him into this.

Or at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself, because at night when I sneak into the Salvatore Boarding house and stay in Damon's room, clutching onto his sheets that smell less like him and more like me as the days go on. Part of me wonders if Damon did this to get away from _me_, because he couldn't stand to have me sired to him for much longer.

This is the only time I let myself cry, when I'm alone in the sanctuary of Damon's room, reliving memories of our short time together, trying to forget that he's really not here anymore.

I use my vamp speed to make my way back to my house and when I walk through the door I frown confused when I see it's a full house.

"What's going on?" I ask hesitantly and close the door behind me and approaching them.

"I saw Damon." Jeremy breaks the tense silence and the relief takes over my body.

This is good, right?

I was so worried when Jeremy said that he hadn't seen Damon's ghost since he died, Bonnie even tried a spell but she wasn't strong enough. Part of me was scared that the reason Jeremy hadn't seen Damon's ghost was because he didn't want to be seen. Jeremy said that he can only see ghosts when they are thinking about the place they are at or the people present and since I've been with my brother almost every day, I felt sick at the thought that Damon hadn't once thought about me in his afterlife, whatever that may be.

"Is he here now?" I ask hopefully and even though I know I wouldn't be able to see him anyway, I look around frantically, praying that he is here and that I can talk to him, even if it has to be through my brother.

"No," Jeremy shakes his head and I don't miss the nervous look he shares with Shane.

"Jer?" Now I'm worried. "What's wrong? Is he ok?"

"It's an unusual situation," Shane speaks up for my brother and I my frown deepens.

"What do you mean unusual? He's ok? You're going to be able to bring him back, right?!" My voice raises and panic sets in. "Tell me you can bring him back!"

"Elena, calm down." Bonnie walks over to me and rests her hands on my arms "As far as we know, nothing has changed in our plan to resurrect him, it's ok." She reassures me with a soothing tone and I feel my body relax slightly but I still know that something is not right.

"Jeremy?" I ask again in desperation because I need to know what is going on.

"I only saw him once, Elena, and when I did I could see him but I couldn't hear him." He explains and then a look of guilt crosses his face. "I managed to get in contact with Ric, and he said that he spoke to Damon once and that his time in the other side has been different."

"What do you mean different?" I ask anxiously. The thought of Damon suffering breaks my already broken heart and I cannot stand to live on like this for much longer if I know that not only has he died because of me, but he's suffering for me too.

"In the other side, Alaric, can see us, he can hear us, all of us. When he saw Damon, they were at The Grill-"

"What?" Caroline interrupts him "You mean all this time _that's_ where he's been? Typical Damon behavior, even in death."

It takes all of my strength to not speed across the room and snap her neck and Jeremy glances at me cautiously before continuing.

"That's where I saw him the other day-"

Now I'm the one cutting him off. "The other day?!" I ask in disbelief "You saw him days ago and you're only telling me _now_?!" and I watch as my brother looks down at his feet guiltily.

"We wanted to know what was different about Damon before telling you, in case it was nothing and we didn't want to make you more upset than you already are." Stefan speaks up for the first time since I arrived.

I decide to stay silent; I just need to know now.

Jeremy thankfully takes this as a sign to continue. "Ok, so Alaric saw Damon, and he said that Damon told him that he had no sense of time, he thought he'd been dead for a couple of days when really it had been weeks. He also said that Damon couldn't see anyone else, and it was lunch time and you know how busy it gets. Add this information to the fact that I could only see Damon and not hear him, I knew something wasn't right."

"I did some research," Shane continues for Jeremy. "And we think the reason why things are so different for Damon is because he was killed by a hunter." He explains. "There's a theory that he can only communicate with the undead who he has deep feelings for, friendship or otherwise, which is probably why Alaric is the only ghost he has been able to speak too. I mean I imagine a place like Mystic Falls is crawling with ghosts, it must be an effect of it being Jeremy who killed him."

"Ok? And what does that mean?" I ask nervously, trying to block out the part of my brain that is pointing out that Damon is all alone right now.

"Unfortunately we haven't gotten that far yet," Shane looks at me sympathetically. "But Jeremy has come up with a plan to get in contact with Damon."

Now I feel hopeful and I look at my brother who takes a step towards me. "Alaric doesn't know much about this undead after life thing, but he says he knows someone who might and we think if we can find her, she can act as a medium between us and Damon and maybe give us some answers about what is happening."

"Who?"

He glances at Bonnie for a second before looking back at me. "Rose."

I freeze. "Rose?"

"She was close to Damon, he will trust her. He can't come to us or communicate properly with Jeremy, but Rose can. And if Shane's theory about Damon only being able to communicate with ghosts who he cares for then hopefully that will include Rose." Stefan explains.

I don't know how I feel exactly about Damon's ex fling, who he also happened to actually care about, being with him in this afterlife while I'm stuck here on my own, desperate to be reunited with him. "Do it." I say after a few seconds of silence. Teenage jealousy can bite my ass; I need to know he is ok.

"Unfortunately it's not that simple, she needs to be thinking of us to appear. And well, since Damon was the only one who could bring her the last time, it may take a while. Alaric is trying to find her, but even if he does we don't know how long it will be for Damon to reappear again." My brother explains and I sigh and fall to the couch and put my head in my hands.

This is such a mess.

* * *

I sit in Damon's stool at The Grill and compel the barman to give me another glass of whiskey. I look around the crowded restaurant, wondering if Damon is here right now, hoping that he is, even if he can't see me and I can't see him, the idea of us being in the same place right now gives me a feeling of comfort.

"You've been here all day, Elena," Matt approaches me, a tub full of dirty plates under his arm. "People are starting to notice."

I frown and look down at my glass before downing the rest and turning to face him. "I'm sorry, in a town full of vampires and werewolves, the morons around here _only_ notice a girl sitting at a bar? No wonder the supernatural death rate is so high if that's all they can be aware of." I roll my eyes bitterly and I hear Matt sigh before taking a seat beside me.

"Jeremy told me this is where he saw Damon." He says softly. "Do you think he's here now?"

"I don't know," I mumble "Maybe."

"He's probably helping himself to the bar," Matt chuckles amused "There's no one to stop him now." I cringe slightly at his words and I feel Matt tense when he realizes what he's said "Sorry Elena, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," I reply and turn to face him and force a smile "It's ok. It's just weird, you know? Pretty much ever since we met, Damon has _always_ been here for me and now, he's just…_not_." I grip onto my glass tightly "All those times I've took him for granted, leaning on him when I needed someone but never really thanking him for it, I'm a horrible person."

"No you're not." Matt replies firmly and places his hand on my arm. "You're young, Elena, we make mistakes and sometimes it's hard to see what is right in front of us."

"I just wish he was still here so I could tell him how much I love him, and that I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt him and took him for granted! I miss him _so_ much, Matt."

Tears are falling from my eyes before I can even stop myself and Matt stands up and wraps his arms around me tightly in a strong embrace.

"He knows, Elena." He whispers into my ear. "He's smart, _too_ smart for his own good if you ask me, but smart none the less."

"Then why did he do it?" I pull away and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. "If he knew that then why did he get Jeremy to kill him? I told him the sire bond didn't affect my feelings, if he believed me then he would still be here."

"I don't think that's why he did it, Elena." He says seriously. "He respects you, he knows how important making your own decisions and choices are too you, the sire bond, whether you both could help it or not, affected that part of you. How could he, or you for that matter, ever really know for sure what was happening between you both with that hanging over your heads? It's not fair, but nothing that happens in this town is fair." He smiles at me sadly before leaning forward and pressing a comforting kiss on my forehead. "I gotta go, my boss is giving me evils but promise me you'll stay strong?"

I sniffle a little but nod my head and give him a genuine smile. "Thank you Matt, you always know how to make me feel better."

He shrugs and takes a step back "That's what I'm here for."

* * *

I'm sat in The Grill for the fourth day running and order yet another tumbler of whiskey, I stare down at it and twirl it in my hands, wondering how long it's going to really take to find Silas and resurrect Damon.

Jeremy hasn't even killed anymore vampires since before the lake house all Shane wants to do is discuss different theories.

I'm through with discussions, I just want Damon back.

I sigh and place the glass on the bar and look around the almost empty grill. It's only just opened so there are not many people about but the staff. In some sort of form of a way to apologizing, Caroline and Stefan compelled everyone who works here (with the exception of Matt) to giving me anything I ask for and to not question why I've been spending every hour of every day here during opening times. Apparently, this is a way to avoid suspicion.

I couldn't really give a crap.

I pick up the glass and down it, slamming it back against the bar in frustration when I feel a hand on my back.

I know who it is immediately so don't even bother to turn around. Jeremy has been joining me for a couple of hours a day, as an attempt to see if Damon is here but so far we have been unsuccessful and him joining me now is just leaving me more and more disappointed each day.

At least when Jeremy isn't here I have hope that Damon is sat beside me, wanting to see me and speak to me as much as I want to with him.

"Elena," he grips onto my shoulder tightly and I turn around on my stool confused, wondering why he hasn't come to sit beside me like he always does.

"What Jer?" I ask tiredly and I watch as he smiles softly at me, his eyes slightly wide as he glances to his right.

"He's here."

* * *

**Sorry to leave it there folks! Hope you liked it! Reviews are more than welcome and really do help me continue on with this story! **

**Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter, it does mean a lot :)**

**Until next time! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Until Death**

**I don't own anything or anyone from The Vampire Diaries.**

**Wow, I can only apologize for how long it has taken me to post this chapter! I am so sorry! I only have the same excuse as any other writer on here, and that is a serious case of writers block! I was so busy focusing on my other story Crying Lightning that I never had much of a chance to think this one over, I had the first half of this chapter written weeks ago, well before Christmas but I just couldn't finish it until tonight! **

**I hope it was worth the wait!**

* * *

I wake up on the floor of The Mystic Grill yet again and grunt to myself in annoyance that I _still_ can't see anyone or anything. All I want to do is go find and Elena to make sure that she's ok. Is that too much to ask?

I haven't even seen Ric either, so I don't even know how long it's been since I died because apparently I happen to be the only freakin ghost in Mystic Falls to be _different_. Well this sucks, if I'm dead, I at least want to be dead properly, not in this sucky isolated way.

I pull myself to my feet just like I always do when I wake up in this situation and I wonder why the only two places I can even go to is my old house which doesn't even exist anymore, and here. It's weird, but then again nothing is ever normal around here so I try not to think about it too much because I'm already driving myself insane.

"Ric?" I speak out loud, hoping he's here somewhere or if there's some weird ghosty way I can get in contact with him. "Hey buddy, if you can hear me; get your ass to The Grill I could really use some company right now." I mutter and take another look around the empty restaurant, wondering who is really here right now in the land of the living.

Wondering if _she's_ here.

I grumble in annoyance when Ric doesn't appear and I roll my eyes to myself because I was an idiot for being hopeful in the first place.

I don't know how long I'm sat in The Grill for, but I jump when the door opens and I turn to see Jeremy walk through the door.

I'm on my feet instantly and approach him, he looks at me, his eyes wide and he nods his head for me to follow him and I don't even bother to say anything because I know he can't hear me.

I watch as he reaches his hand out, almost like he is holding onto someone and I frown confused. "What are you doing?" I ask but of course I don't get a reply.

"Elena," he says her name and I swear my dead heart starts to pound again. She's here. Elena is right here.

"He's here," he speaks up and I don't know what's going on, Jeremy moves a step back walks towards a quiet booth in the back and I guess I just have to follow.

I go to sit down but he shakes his head. "Not there," he points to a space in the booth and as I hesitantly sit down. "You're sitting next to each other." He explains and my head snaps to the side, only to see an empty space and as much as it kills me to not be able to see her, to touch her, to hear her, it gives me great comfort to know that she's there.

"I know I can't hear you, Damon, and you can't see Elena or hear her, but I'm gonna try my best for the two of you to communicate." He takes a deep breath and stays silent and I realise that Elena must be speaking and I grip tightly onto the table in front of me, anxiously waiting to hear what she has to say.

"Elena wants me to tell you that first and foremost she misses you so much, and that she loves you." He says slightly awkwardly but I don't even care. "She also thinks you're an idiot for having me kill you and that there could have been another way to break the sire bond, but now that its broken, she wants you to know that nothing has changed, that she still feels the same about you. We're going to find Silas and we're going to bring you back, so you can be together and this time you aren't going to screw it up because she won't let you. She loves you so much, and these past couple of weeks have been hell but she's trying to stay strong because she knows it's not the end, and that you will be together for eternity because that's what's right. _It's our time_."

I smile a little and I don't even realise till it a tear touches my lips that I'm silently crying. I look up to see Jeremy looking at me in shock and I quickly wipe at my eyes but I don't even bother to try and hide it. Elena _loves_ me, without the sire bond, she_ loves_ me.

Jeremy is looking to the side of me and I realise Elena must be speaking again. "She wants me to ask you to nod your head if you still feel the same way about her."

Before he can even finish his sentence I'm nodding furiously and I watch as a small smile crosses his lips and he speaks directly to Elena. "He's nodding, Elena, he loves you too."

"Damon, nod if you believe that her feelings are real, that you _know_ how much she loves you."

I stay still for a split second and I watch as a look of worry crosses Jeremy's face but when I nod a look of relief crosses his features and he looks towards Elena with a smile.

"He believes you." He tells her softly. "I wish there was more I could do, Elena."

He nods his head before turning back to face me. "We don't really know how this afterlife thing works, but we do know from Alaric that you're experience has been different." He explains and I lean forward, listening to what he has to say very carefully, finally glad I could be getting some answers. "Professor Shane did some research and we think that because you were killed by a hunter your afterlife is different, we aren't sure why but that seems to be the explanation."

"Of course," I mutter while rolling my eyes, forgetting for a second that Jeremy can't actually hear me.

"We think that because of this the only ghosts you can come into contact with are the ones you care about, hence why you can only see Alaric here in Mystic Falls," Jeremy continues and I watch as he glances at my side for a second, looking at Elena before turning back to me. "He's tracking down Rose to bring her to you, we think she might know more about this stuff than Alaric does and she can help act as a medium between us."

Rose.

Of course.

I watch as Jeremy glances to my left again and I wonder what Elena is doing right now, if she's saying anything.

I motion with my hands for Jeremy to give me some kind of explanation to what Elena is thinking right now. Does she not want Alaric to find Rose?

"We all agree." Jeremy tells me firmly and I let out a sigh of relief. "She's been around a lot longer in this supernatural world; she'll know a hell of a lot more than Ric. Now we just need to find her, I think it would help if you…um…" he again glances awkwardly to my left "Start _thinking_ about her, like you did in Denver…"

He wants me to reinforce my feelings for Rose but I can tell he is worried about how this is affecting Elena. She doesn't have to worry; my feelings for Rose aren't even near to the level of my feelings for Elena. I can do it.

I nod my head in agreement, thinking about Rose used to be painful but I can be content knowing that I helped her die happy.

I sigh and look to my side, _knowing_ that Elena is there is absolutely killing me. I just wish I could see her, or at least hear her.

"I'll uh…give you two a moment." Jeremy mumbles awkwardly and I realise it must be extra strange for him because he can see us both.

I know she can't hear me, or see me, but I need to speak to her anyway, just knowing that she is here, I can't let this go.

"I know you're probably a little pissed at me for what I did, but you have to understand that I did it for _you_, Elena, because I love you and I just want you to be happy more than anything in the world." I let out a shaky breath and run my hands through my hair nervously before continuing "And I know you can't hear me, but I need to say this; If, god forbid, this Silas thing happens to be one big bust, I want you to stop looking for a way to bring me back and move on with your life, find everything I know you wanted from the moment I met you, if that's with my brother or whoever else. Don't waste your life on me, Elena, I'm not worth it." I reach my hand out and for a few seconds I imagine that my hand is pressed on her cheek, that I can really feel her and touch her. "I love you so much, so please, be happy." I wipe a tear that has fallen from my eyes and slowly stand up away from the booth.

I turn around and nod my head at Jeremy who is watching from the bar and just like many times before, my body crashes to the floor and everything goes black.

* * *

The next time I wake up I'm not at The Grill, in fact, I'm not at my old house either! I'm on a field, a green field and I immediately jump up to my feet confused.

I hear a laugh behind me and turn around and let out a breath of relief when I see Rose watching me with a smirk.

"I never ever thought I'd see you here, Damon Salvatore. I thought you were _invincible_."

I can't help but grin. "Meh, immortality is overrated! I hear the afterlife is the place to be these days."

She lets out a small laugh and shakes her head and I swear she mutters something under her breath about how much she's missed me but I can't be sure.

"So, I hear you have been having trouble around here." She takes a step towards me and I shrug.

"You could say that," I shrug casually. "I let a hunter stake me, thought I needed a new challenge."

She rolls her eyes and the smile falls from her face. "Why, Damon? Alaric told me everything."

"I didn't know that getting staked by a hunter would make a difference."

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

I sigh and look down at the ground, watching as the long grass blows slightly in the warm breeze and I realise that we are in the place I took Rose to die.

How ironic.

"It was the right thing to do."

"By who?"

"By Elena!" I raise my voice slightly. "By Stefan! By everyone!"

"Except it's not right, is it?" she takes another step forward.

"I needed to break the sire bond, Rose. There was no other way!"

"Why can't you just ever let yourself be happy, Damon? You would have found a way."

I shake my head immediately because she doesn't understand. "How was I supposed to know that Elena's feelings were genuine? From the beginning, she's always said that it was always going to be Stefan! She _chose_ him! Then all for a sudden she decides that she wants me instead? I was so happy, and part of me knew it was too good to be true! So when I found out about the sire bond I just assumed that's what it was all about, I mean, that made sense to me. Why would Elena ever love me without some supernatural force making her?"

"You know that's not true."

"Maybe." I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I spoke to Jeremy…whenever the hell it was, I don't even know in this place…he helped me communicate a little with Elena, turns out her feelings _were_ real."

"You guys sure know how to get yourselves in difficult situations. I was a vampire for centuries and then I barely lasted a week in Mystic Falls before I was bitten by a werewolf!"

"That damn town." I mutter under my breath. "It's cursed."

"And apparently, so are _you_."

"I'm cursed?"

"You know about the Hunter's Curse, right?" she asks and I nod my head thinking back to Elena attempting to kill herself because of that jackass Connor. Oh yes, I know all about _that_. "Well basically, you kill a hunter; you're cursed and haunted by that hunter until a new one is found."

"Yeah yeah, I know that already…" I wave her off and hurry her along.

"If you get killed by a hunter, you're doomed to life in a vampire version of purgatory until the curse is broken."

"And how does that happen?"

"Pretty much the opposite of breaking the living vampire's hunter's curse, the hunter who killed you has to die."

Of course.

"Well, that's never gonna happen." I scoff and shake my head immediately. "Not a chance in hell."

"I know." Rose nods her head in agreement because even the suggestion of killing off Jeremy Gilbert is ridiculous. "But it seems that they are trying to find another way for you?"

"Some shady professor thinks he knows a way to bring people back from the dead." I shake my head, cursing myself for even remotely believing him and trusting him because it all seems a bit ridiculous now.

"Silas?" Rose questions me with an anxious tone to her voice and I snap my head up and look at her shocked.

"You've heard of him?"

"I've heard stories…" she looks worried. "Damon, if you release Silas…it'll bring a greater evil…evil bigger than any Original vampire or hybrid could ever bring you."

"How?" I ask worriedly, my dead heart feeling like it's pounding again.

"According to legend, Silas is the upmost powerful supernatural being. He's a witch, who is a vampire! He's trapped in a tomb, angry, waiting for revenge."

"On his best friend who locked him there…yeah I've heard all that before, blah blah." I roll my eyes. "Tell me, Rose, if we find Silas and this resurrection thing works, will everyone else be in danger?"

She stares at me silently for a moment before slowly nodding her head.

Before I can even get the chance to think about what this means my body gives in and falls to the ground and everything goes black.

* * *

**Again, I'm sorry about the wait! I hope you liked the chapter and thank you lots and lots to every single one of you who reviewed! It really means a lot to me! **

**Thanks guys :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Until Death**

**I don't own anything or anyone from The Vampire Diaries.**

**Like I promised, I didn't take as long as to update this chapter! Hope you like it...**

* * *

"What do you mean he's cursed?" my heart pounds against my chest as we're sat in the boarding house, me sat impatiently next to Jeremy as he acts as a medium between us and Rose.

Stefan is stood by the bar of drinks, helping himself to Damon's stash of bourbon and if I wasn't so interested in communicating with Rose then I'd have scolded him for it.

It's not Stefan's to drink.

Jeremy sits silent and I can tell that he's listening to whatever Rose is saying before turning his head to face me. "She says that it's a reversal of the hunters curse, if a vampire is killed by a hunter then they are cursed to an afterlife of a vampire version of purgatory.

"And what does that mean?" I ask anxiously "Is he suffering?" God I hope he's not.

"She doesn't know the ins and out, but she does know that it's mostly isolation. He has no control over what goes on, where he appears, who he can see and hear, he's hard to find unlike any other ghost and can go weeks living in a pit of darkness."

I close my eyes, as I think about Damon all alone, wherever he is, and it physically hurts my heart.

"I've heard of this," Shane speaks up and I turn to face him with a glare.

"And you didn't think to mention it before?!" I practically growl at him and I can feel my veins heating up.

"Elena," Stefan speaks up, a warning tone to his voice and I do my best to control my temper and my veins cool down.

"I didn't believe it to be true," Shane stands up. "There are a lot of myths and legends that have been living on for centuries and most of them turn out to be nothing more than old wives tales."

"And is there a way to break this curse? A way we can make things easier for Damon on the other side?" Stefan walks around the bar to stand next to the fireplace.

Professor Shane glances at Jeremy and I realize that Rose is probably discussing this with him. I watch as my brother's eyes widen and he looks up at Shane.

"What?" I ask fearfully. "What is it?"

"There is a way," Shane confirms and glances again at Jeremy who looks at me with sad eyes.

"I have to die." He looks down at his hands and I immediately reach over and take one in my own.

"No." I tell him firmly. "I am not losing another person that I love, there has to be another way."

"Aside from bringing Damon back from the dead, there is no other way." Professor Shane tells me and I jump to my feet and face him with a snarl.

"And how is that going by the way?! It's been weeks and you've yet to take us to Silas! Somehow I think you weren't being totally truthful yourself when you said you knew where to find him!" I accuse him furiously.

"It's not that simple, Elena." He replies calmly, totally unaffected by my temper. "Jeremy's mark must be completed to find him, until then, we can't do anything."

I shake my head, my eyes stinging with tears because this is taking too long.

We can't just unleash Jeremy onto any vampire without him losing control again; the best way to do it is through a slow continuation period. Jeremy kills a vampire, his urges to kill grow stronger, therefore we need to tame him again and control his hatred and urges before he can kill another vampire, and then the action repeats again.

As much as I want, _need_, Damon to come back, not even I can do it at the expense of my brother's humanity.

I will do anything else; hurt anyone else, but not Jeremy. He is all I have left in this world.

Then an idea comes to me.

"What if we find another hunter?" I ask hopefully. "We can grow his mark instead of Jeremy's? That way we won't have to wait to unveil the map?"

"We can't just unleash a hunter into a town full of vampires, Elena, vampires we care about." Stefan disagrees with me immediately.

"We don't have to do it here in Mystic Falls, we can go anywhere. We can turn people, take them to the new hunter and he can kill them!" My voice rises as the idea grows more and more appealing to me.

"Destroying all of his humanity in the mean time?" Jeremy looks at me shocked. "No way, Elena. I'm not going to just go and hurt someone who has never done anything to us."

"Why the hell not? People have come into this town and hurt us without a seconds thought, so why shouldn't we do the same!" I'm desperate now.

"Because we're good people," Jeremy stands up.

"There's nothing good about us, we've killed people, Jer." The thought makes me feel sick but it's the truth. "I will do anything to get Damon back. _Anything_."

"Even if it were a good idea, Elena, it's not that easy." Professor Shane interrupts us yet again. "It could take years to find another potential hunter. They could be anywhere in the world."

"Then we best get started." I go to walk away but Jeremy grabs onto my arm and pulls me back and I'm surprised by his strength, because that was tough for me, and I'm a vampire.

"Elena." He says my name firmly and strongly, his brown eyes looking into mine. "I know you want Damon back, I know you miss him and you'll do anything to get him back, but this is not the way." He tells me seriously. "I won't let you turn into a monster; I won't let you lose _your_ humanity just like you won't let me lose mine, and Damon wouldn't want that either, you _know_ he wouldn't."

I stay silent and stare at him because he does have a point.

"Ok, fine." I sigh and my shoulders sag, Jeremy eventually letting go of my hand. "But we need to think of a way to speed this up." I tell them seriously and Jeremy nods his head in agreement.

"What if I were to kill two vampires at a time instead of one?" Jeremy asks Professor Shane. "How much stronger would my urges grow? Would that save time? I can control it."

"I don't know if you're ready for that, Jeremy."

"I'm ready." He says confidently. "My sister is hurting and I want it to stop, I can do this Shane, trust me."

I smile at him softly; because he looks so grown up right now that it's hard to believe he is just a 17 year old boy. He looks so much like a man.

"Ok then," Shane nods his head in agreement before turning to look towards Stefan. "Think you can get us two vampires?"

"I'll try my best," Stefan replies while glancing at us. "But only if he's not a threat to Elena."

"I'll be fine." Jeremy tells him determinedly. "Bonnie is helping me every day to control my anger and hunter impulses. The first therapy session after the kill might be tougher, so I admit it will be difficult, but I know that I can do it. It may take an extra day or two for me to get back to normal than usual but we will be still saving so much time building my mark."

"Fine." Stefan agrees too before excusing himself from the room. Things are still awkward between us, more than awkward actually, despite me spending most of my time here, I try to avoid being alone with Stefan.

I know I need to talk to him at some point, I know he's hurt by how quickly I went from him to Damon but I can't focus on that right now.

Stefan can wait.

"Is Rose still here?" I ask Jeremy curiously and he glances to his right before nodding his head. "Can we…" I trail off and Jeremy stays silent for a second before speaking. "She said you can ask her anything."

Professor Shane takes this as his cue to excuse himself and leaves the boarding house, leaving me and Jeremy alone, well, with Rose's ghost.

"When you saw Damon, was he ok? Did he seem…was he still…_Damon_?" I have no other way to put it.

"Yes, he was still Damon." Jeremy answers on her behalf.

"Good," I sigh with relief because it means he hasn't given up. "Next time you see him, can you let him know that we're still trying to find Silas and bring him back? That I'm never going to give up on him."

"What do you mean?" Jeremy asks confused in the direction of where I'm assuming Rose is sat.

"What's going on Jer?" I ask concerned.

Jeremy turns back to face me with a nervous look on his face and my heart immediately starts to pound in my chest again anxiously. "She didn't want to mention this in front of Professor Shane because she doesn't trust his motives, but she said that from what she has heard about Silas, if he is released, it will wreak havoc on the supernatural world."

"I don't care," I answer immediately. "I just want Damon back."

"What kind of havoc, Rose?" Jeremy asks her for himself.

"What did she say?" I ask impatiently.

"Silas…despite being a vampire himself, he blames all supernatural beings for his entrapment and he wants revenge, he wants to bring an end to vampires, werewolves, hybrids…everything that is not human in this world."

I gulp slightly before regaining my composure. "We can handle that when it comes, we've overcome so much, what's one more psychopath trying to kill us all?"

"As you wish." Jeremy motions that it was Rose's words not his. "She said she must go now."

I nod my head and stand up. "Ok, thank you Rose, and please…if you see Damon again…look after him."

"She says she'll try her best."

Jeremy lets me know that she's gone before looking at me sceptically. "This Silas thing…are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course!" I snap at him angrily.

"Despite all the trouble that it's going to cause? We still don't know exactly what this cure thing does…and if Klaus finds out we are planning on using it to bring back Damon he won't like it."

"Klaus isn't going to find out." I tell Jeremy sternly. "I thought you were on my side with this? You staked Damon with the intention to help bring him back!"

"I know, I know." He strides towards me and places his hands on my arms. "I just want you to be sure, that whatever happens, you want to do this?"

"Absolutely."

"Ok then, then we will stick together, no matter what. No matter who tries to stop us or stand in our way, we will find Silas and we will resurrect Damon." He says resolutely. "No matter what?"

"No matter what." I agree seriously.

* * *

I'm sat at The Grill drinking a glass of bourbon sat on Damon's stool, looking around, wondering if he's here.

Except for being in his bedroom, I always feel the closet to him here.

"How you doin?" Matt asks me with a small smile as he wipes the bar in front of me.

"I'm better than yesterday." I reply honestly.

Stefan came back late last night with two vampires for Jeremy to kill. I didn't ask where he found them or why he chose these two, I didn't want to know.

So Jeremy is staying back at the lake house with Professor Shane and Bonnie for the next couple of days, working on his anti-vampire hunter impulses that could put us all in danger.

But we're one step closer to bringing back Damon and that's all that matters.

When all this is over, I need to reward my brother with a holiday to the Bahamas, or Hawaii, whichever he prefers.

"That's good, Elena." He reaches out and squeezes my hand. "I'm gonna head up to the lake house tonight, see how Jeremy is doing. Want me to pass any messages to him?"

"Tell him that I love him, and that I'm so grateful to what he is doing for me."

Matt nods his head and walks away to serve a customer and I take another sip from my borbon.

"Oh? Has little Gilbert killed another vampire? Why am I only hearing about this now?" I tense at the English accent and look down at the bar, focussing on not gripping my glass too tightly so it doesn't smash.

"I think you've been a little busy lowering the population of Mystic Falls to notice." I hiss at him angrily, still reeling that he killed Carol Lockwood.

I see Klaus roll his eyes from the corner of mine and he takes a seat on the stool next to me. I'm about to bark at him to move and not to sit there but I decide to save my energy, like he would move.

"I don't enjoy people doing things behind my back, Elena." He tells me, his voice ice cold and hard. "You know what happened to Tyler Lockwood when he tried to trick me."

I grip onto the glass tighter, taking deep breaths to try and control myself.

The last thing we need is a vengeful Klaus on our hands so I need to play nice.

"Look, it's not like we deliberately kept it a secret." I reply reluctantly, keeping my tone as distant as possible, as to not give anything away. "But you haven't been around these past couple of weeks and after what you did, no one was in the mood to call you for a quick chat."

Klaus chuckles coldly "I'll let you off this time, my dear, but next time, I am to be the first to know."

"Sure." I mutter and we fall into an uncomfortable silence. Me silently willing him to just leave.

"So…I heard about Damon." He speaks up again. "Tragic, it really is." I can see the smirk on his face.

This time the glass in my hand does break.

"Oh…touchy subject?" Klaus laughs bitterly before shaking his head and tutting.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't mention his name around me." I tell him coldly, wiping the shards of glass from my hands, looking around to see that thankfully no one noticed.

"I thought you'd be happy? He broke the sire bond…now you can go back to Stefan and all will be well in the world!"

I frown, realizing that he is not aware of my genuine feelings for Damon.

This could work in our favor.

"He took advantage of me." I almost choke on the words and I feel sick at saying them but luckily my voice is hard and it doesn't give me away. "It doesn't matter that he broke it, he still used the sire bond to his favor, dead or not, I can't forgive him for that."

I never want to say those words out loud again.

"Well, no use crying about it now, love, he's dead." He says it so casually that I wish I could just lean across and pull his heart out.

"Yeah." I agree before standing up and leaving without as much as a goodbye and luckily he doesn't stop me.

I climb into my car and look around before pulling out my phone.

**Klaus thinks my feelings for  
Damon were because of the  
sire bond. Do not let him think  
any differently. This can help  
us. Klaus can help us if he thinks  
we are still looking for the cure  
for the same reason as him.  
Do not tell him that we are  
bringing Damon back. **

I send the text to everyone involved who I can think of. Stefan, Caroline, Jeremy, Bonnie, Professor Shane. I decide against sending it to Tyler, he's doing his own thing at the moment and doesn't know what's going on any more than Klaus does.

I don't blame him. I'd want to take a beat from all of this too if the same thing happened to me.

I take a deep breath and pull away, heading back towards the boarding house, planning on getting under Damon's covers and losing myself in my memories.

We can do this.

I'm going to get Damon back and nothing and no one is going to get my in way.

Not Klaus, not Silas, not anyone.

* * *

**I love a determined Elena, don't you? **

**Thanks for reading and thanks to all you awesome people who reviewed! **

**Until next time :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Until Death**

**I don't own anything or anyone from The Vampire Diaries.**

**Apologies for the wait! I really wanted to post this sooner but I was having trouble in what direction to take with this story, I think I have made a decision now though so hopefully the updates will come between less time than I have been doing with this story lately! **

* * *

My eyes widen in shock at the sensation of someone choking me, I gasp and splutter on the ground, placing my own hands around my neck as I try to relieve the strong hold that is gripping me but there's nothing there.

The grip gets tighter and tighter and I thrash around, desperate to stop this pain, this death grip that is literally choking me.

If I wasn't already dead, I know that I would be by now.

At least in my human life.

The hold finally relents and I start coughing, crawling into a ball on the ground as I struggle to catch my breath.

_What the hell was that_?

Before I can fully get my breathing back however a strike crosses my face and I go tumbling back into the mud.

"Ah!" I gasp in pain as shots of pain attack my body and when I look down I'm shocked to see blood oozing out of me.

I roar in pain as I place my fingers in one of my wounds and I'm shocked to pull out a bullet.

A wooden bullet.

"Who is doing this?!" I wail out in pain, another thud hitting me, this time into my back and I crawl along the soil, finally getting my baring's.

I'm on the road outside of my old house.

Where I died as a human.

"Who's there?" I shout out into the darkness, fear overtaking me as I can hear footsteps but I can't see anyone or anything. "Tell me!"

Another bullet hits into my shoulder and I scream in pain before pulling it out, gasping in pain as I hold it in my hand.

"Damon."

I look around quickly at the sound of _that_ familiar voice but no one is there.

"Damon."

I climb to my feet, walking around in a circle frantically, my eyes darting around the darkness but there is no one there.

"Damon Salvatore. Do not ignore me."

I get what feels like the back of my hand crossing my face and I stumble back a little but manage to stay on my feet.

"Stop this!" I shout out, the wounds from the wooden bullets earlier still making my entire body ache. Apparently I don't heal as fast as a _dead_ vampire.

Now I hear a low dark chuckle and I gulp slightly because I would recognise that sound anywhere.

"Father? Is that you?"

Then everything goes black.

* * *

The next time I wake up, I'm lying down on something comfortable and my eyes close in satisfaction as the feeling of someone playing with my hair soothes me.

It takes me a moment to realise that I am hallucinating again and when I open my eyes again I freeze when I realise I am in my childhood bedroom.

Lying on my old bed.

"Damon? Sweetie?"

I jump forward at the sound of _that_ voice, my eyes darting around the room frantically.

"Honey, don't be scared."

"Mother?"

"Yes. It's me." Her voice is calm and soft, just how I remember it. "Come and sit down dear."

I slowly walk back over to the bed and nervously take a seat, my eyes still darting around the room, trying to see her, but I can't.

"What's going on? Why is this happening?"

"I don't know, dear." She replies and I close my eyes as I feel my hair being played with again and I realise it was just like how she used to do it when I was a child and I couldn't sleep.

"I'm sorry, Mom." I clench my eyes tightly shut.

"For what, dear?"

"For everything. I know I've disappointed you." I open my eyes and look down at my feet in guilt.

"Oh sweetie, you haven't disappointed me, you could never disappoint me."

"But I've done some terrible things, I've hurt people, I've _killed_ people."

"No. That wasn't you, Damon, that was your disease. My boy, he couldn't hurt a fly."

I clench my jaw and try to stop tears from escaping my eyes, because even now, I need to be strong for her. "No you don't understand, it was all me."

"No dear, my boy, my Damon, he wouldn't hurt anyone." She says again, her voice quiet and calm.

"But I have!" I argue. "I've hurt a lot of people, innocent people, I've even hurt Stefan."

"Why dear?" her voice is still calm but there is more of an edge too it this time. "Why would you hurt your brother?"

I look away. "I don't know…"

"Yes you do."

"I don't want to talk about Stefan right now." I deflect her comment. "How are you here? How come I can hear you but can't see you? Are you ok? Are you happy? Are you in a better place?"

"So many questions my child."

"Sorry." I apologise meekly. "I have just missed you so much, Mother, I love you."

"I know dear, and I have missed you also. I love you sweetie, I always have."

"You were the only one to do so."

"You know that is not true. Your father, he loves you, he just never knew how to show it. He is a stubborn man, and he has great difficulty expressing his feelings."

"He hated me. I was a disappointment to him, I didn't lead the path he wanted for me and he couldn't love me anymore for it."

"He just wanted you to be the best man that you could be."

"And I failed him."

"No dear, you fell in love."

I cringe, thinking about all the mistakes I made back in 1864 when Katherine took over my life.

"That was not love, Mother."

"No, I guess not. Tell me dear, how did you get here?"

"I made a lot of bad choices." I look around my old small bedroom and I grip onto my old bed sheets tightly. "There is this girl…"

"Ah." I hear the realisation in her voice. "It is always down to the love of a woman."

"She's…she's special." I smile a little thinking about Elena. "I love her, more than anything and anyone in this world."

"And which world is that, Damon? This one? Or your old one?"

I frown at her choice of words. "Why, both worlds Mother."

"You must choose, Damon." Her voice is more serious now. "You must make a choice."

That damn C word again.

"A choice between what? I don't understand."

"You can either come with me and we shall be reunited or you can stay here in this purgatory you're stuck in. The hallucinations will get worse, and before you know it you will be stuck in a hell that is greater than any other."

I frown, thinking about what I found out from Rose that the only way I get to leave this place is if Jeremy Gilbert dies.

"I thought I was stuck here? As part of the hunters curse."

"Dear, you should know by now that I am very much aware of the supernatural world and have been before I even passed. I know a witch, a very powerful witch, and she can do a spell to break you free from this curse and bring you over to us, where you belong my dear, you should have been here when you died as a human, you and your brother."

"But if I go with you…then I won't be able to be go back…I won't be able to be resurrected…"

"No." she confirms. "But dear, why would you want to? That _world_…it's turned you into a monster, that is _not_ you, not my son. You died in 1864 sweetie, you don't belong there."

"But Elena…"

"Isn't 150 years old." I feel her hand on mine, and even though I can't see it, the comfort is there and it gives me a warm feeling in my stomach, something I haven't felt in so so long. Something which I have missed and craved since the moment my mother took her last breath. "She hasn't lived like you have, dear. You've had your time, Damon, you need to move on, it's time."

I gulp and think about her words. "I can't leave her, Mom, I love her." just the thought of never being able to see Elena again, to never hear her voice again, physically hurts my heart.

"Why do you think I'm here, dear? I'm no part of this hunter's curse; the curse is just what my witch has used to grant me access into this world. I have come to save you because I love you, because I don't want you to continue being the monster that that disease makes you be. Dear, I love you, you are my son, my Damon, and I am asking you, as your mother, to come over with me."

"I don't know, Mother." Tears fall from my eyes. "You don't understand, Elena she…I _can't_ leave her."

"I shall give you some time, time to experience this world for yourself before you make up your mind. Goodbye my sweet Damon, I shall hopefully see you very soon."

* * *

"Damon?"

"Ric?!" I jump to my feet to see Alaric walking towards me across the empty Grill. "I can see you!"

He frowns at me confused "You've always been able to see me, Damon? Are you ok?"

I realise now that my I'm sweating, my entire forehead is soaked as is my the edges of my hair and I gulp slightly thinking back to the words from my mother.

This can all stop.

"Jeremy's mark is complete, Damon." He tells me with a smile. "He and Elena hatched up a plan to kill Kol Mikaelson and it worked, he's dead and Jeremy's mark grew from all the deaths of Kol's descendants. They are going to some island tomorrow with Professor Shane, and they are going to bring you back. This is it, Damon."

I gulp slightly at his words because this is happening now.

I can get out of here.

Before I can say anything, a wave of pain overtakes my body again and I look down shocked to see more bullet holes all over my chest and stomach, blood oozing quickly out of it.

"Damon!" Alaric must be able to see it because he quickly runs towards me but when he touches me he removes his hand quickly in pain. "Vervain." He looks at me shocked. "Damon? What is going on?"

"Ah!" I gasp in agony as pain overtakes my head, almost like Bonnie is doing her witchy joo joo at me, add that to the pain coming from the vervain covered wooden bullets and my entire body is screaming in anguish. "Make it stop!" I beg Alaric who looks down at me in distress. "Please! I am begging you! Make it stop!"

"Damon I…What's going on? What's happening?" he looks around the Grill and I'm shocked when he starts shouting. "Jeremy!" he looks around desperately and curses underneath his breath as I writhe and squirm on the floor. "Damn it, ok, I…I'll be right back ok? I'm going to access Jeremy and bring him here!" he disappears before I can argue and I scream loudly in pain as more bullets attack my body.

I gasp as I feel what seems like a foot crush my hand, and when I look over at my arm that's lay on the floor I jump in fright when I see that there's a black boot pressed on top of my hand. I slowly lift my eyes up, the intense pain calming down as the bullets have stopped attacking my body.

Once my gaze reaches the top I choke on my own breath.

"Father?"

He bends down so he is crouched down in front of me, a stern look on his face as he eyes me up and down as I lie pathetically on the floor.

"Hello Damon."

* * *

**Sorry it's a little short! The next one will be longer I promise! **

**Thanks for everyone who reviewed, you're all awesome and it's really appreciated! Let me know what you thought of this chapter, your feedback means a lot :)**

**Until next time! **


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